There's something about this time of year. Last year at this time, I was kind of wondering where my life was going, and if I should try something else - like quit my job and go to law school. Eventually, the urge passed.
This year, it isn't so much concern about where my life is going. It's concern about how much stuff I have to do and how I'm going to pay for the things I want to do.
I'm feeling overwhelmed. Right now, I'm working 6 days a week. I'm also taking two MBA classes, trying to hit the gym daily, and trying to continue making a few bucks selling stuff on eBay.
I've got enough of a routine that most of the reoccurring stuff gets done. I go shopping, go to the gym, make dinner, do laundy, do ebay packing or listing or shipping, or do homework, at the same time each day or week that I get everything done. But I have a bunch of projects and other nonroutine stuff that I don't know when I'm going to fit in. I have three presentations for one of my classes, and a group paper and two tests in my other, and I don't know when I'm going to get them done. I've put some time into one of them, and still don't know how I'm going to get them done.
And stuff throws off my routine - I had a nail in my tire today that took 2 hours to get patched, which messed up my schedule.
I had to think outside the box and pick Nigeria for my international MIS class presentation. We are supposed to find very specific data on our countries, and some of that - like cable TV subscribers or computer exports - doesn't exist. I picked Nigeria mostly because I was curious how a country could generate so many eBay and 419 spam scams. And now I'm drowning...
My other class has a group paper. I hear other groups talking about how much they have done. My group? We exchanged email addresses. And it took us 3 weeks.
I'm also hoping to make two large purchases next year - I want to get a new car, because I've been frustrated at the Cruiser and it's f'ed up electrical system that has rendered me speedometer and gas guage - less. I also want to buy a house, but housing prices are going up by 25% a year here in Baltimore, while MadAnthony's income is going up by about 3%.
On most accounts, when I look at my life now compared to where I was 3 years ago at this time - when I had just moved back in with my parents, had no job, very little money, and no real job prospects - I'm doing well, better that I could have imagined. I have some money put away, a paid-off car, a fully funded 401(k), and pretty much every gadget I've ever wanted (except for a plasma). I've even lost some weight, and I'm almost half way to getting my MBA.
The only place where I'm really not doing so well is in the dating department - apparently overweight guys with limited social skills and a tendancy to dress like they just rolled out of bed has yet to become the next big thing. But it's probably just as well - if I had a girlfriend, she'd leave for not having any time to spend with her anyway.
Still with me? Thanks for hearing me rant. This blog is like a diary - it lets me sort out my thoughts. And things could be hella worse, and I'm sure they will work out. I think a lot of the reason I panic over projects is because I have these grand ideas of what I want to accomplish. In the end, I wind up throwing something together and it works out.
Now, you are probably saying "MadAnthony, if you are so f'ing busy, why are you blogging?" And you have a point - I'm about to start doing some work. But this is my break, my head-clearing exersize.