mad anthony

Rants, politics, and thoughts on politics, technology, life,
and stuff from a generally politically conservative Baltimoron.

Saturday, October 24, 2009

Why I want to take a break from online dating...

I've been trying to meet women online for nearly 3 years in some form. In that time, I've gotten a grand total of 3 dates, none of which resulted in a second date. So I'm thinking it's time to give up.

Well, not give up on the idea of dating altogether, and not ruling out the possibility of going back to online dating at some point. After all, I wouldn't want to hang myself with a celibate rope.

But more and more I'm finding online dating to be frustrating, more cost and less benefit. Looking at profiles of women who I would love to date but have no interest in me, or the occasional woman who is interested in me but I'm not interested in, just depresses me. If I added up all the time I've spent browsing online profiles, it would add up to a whole bunch of time I could have spent doing something more enjoyable.

I'm not sure why I've failed at online dating when I know other people who have succeeded. Well, I have some ideas. First of all, I don't have a great hook - I'm not unusually attractive, or smart, or a great writer, or athletic, or have some cool unique hobby. I think I'm a nice guy, but everyone online is a nice guy - nobody is going to make a profile that says "I'm a douchebag, date me!". So I don't really come off as someone women are dying to meet. Either that, or I'm just so antisocial/hideous that there is no hope for me. But I'm hoping that it's just that I come off better as a real person than an online profile, and that it's just that I haven't been around enough women in the meatspace to meet one.

Unfortunately, I made the mistake of signing up for one of eHarmony's discount 3-month subscriptions, so I can't cancel for another month or two. That actually works out well in a way, because that is around the time I'll be starting on grad school for my second master's degree. Which I'm also hoping will be a good way to meet people in the real world.

As I mention in the post below, I'm also planing on doing a few other things that I hope will help me discover more who I am, and get more comfortable around people. I hope it's sucessful because online dating is generally the meeting place of last resort, and it hasn't worked for me - so if I don't either find a way of making myself more datable or finding some hidden cache of women who want to date me, I can pretty much expect to die alone.

2 Comments:

At 5:23 PM, Anonymous online dating said...

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At 9:33 AM, Blogger devid mark said...

I actually enjoyed reading through this posting. Many thanks.
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