So cold...

It's late November, and I'm already looking forward to April.

I hate the cold, and the last couple days have been brutally cold. Grey, rainy, and worst of all windy - the kind of wind that sends shivers up your spine.

I hate the cold. I hate waking up and feeling it outside the blankets, making getting out of bed and going to work even more unpleasant. I hate walking out the front door and shivering. I hate getting into my truck and waiting for it to warm up, hands on a frozen steering wheel. I hate getting to work and having to get out of my now-toast-warm truck to go back out into the cold to walk to the office. I hate having to try to fit raking leaves around rain and snow and the rest of my life. I hate having to lug sweats to the gym to put on afterwords. I hate the heat pump in my townhouse, which I'm not convinced actually generates any heat, at least not in my bedroom.

I don't remember caring much about the weather when I was younger, but the last few years I've hated winter more and more. Maybe because I'm older. Maybe because I'm not as fat as I used to be, so I don't have as much insulation. Maybe winters have gotten worse.

There are a few things about the cold that don't suck. I like fall and winter food - hearty stews and chili, pumpkin and apple and spice deserts. I love Trader Joe's winter blend coffee. The cat has actually been curling up in my lap since it got cold - evidently she views me as warm furniture, but that beats ignoring me. I like spending time with the family on Thanksgiving and Christmas. I have mixed feelings on snow days - I work for a college, so we get some time off, but I don't know if having to shovel snow is worth it.

But those things still can't overcome the feeling of awfulness I get every time I go outside. There is something about the cold that just makes me feel lonely and sad, and something about summer that makes me feel better.