When the people who cared for you need caring for...

My dad has been having health problems for close to a year - feeling lightheaded and dizzy and the like. He had a history of allergy and sinus problems, and the doctor assumed that that was what was causing it. He had surgery for it in September, and felt better for a while, but then was still having problems. He had another surgery in December - I was up for Christmas and drove him to the hospital. He felt better after a few months, went back to work, and then started feeling crappy again. He finally went to a new doctor, who decided that it was probably something else and ordered an MRI. He got a preliminary diagnosis, but went to see a doctor today who is pretty certain that it's Multiple Sclerosis.

He still has to have some more tests to confirm it and to figure out which course it is and how best to treat it. He did say that my dad will probably need a walker, and that he should consider moving to a house that doesn't have any stairs. My parent's current house is a single-story ranch, but it's basically built into a hill so that they need to go up a flight of stairs to get in. I'd hate to see them have to move - it's the house I grew up in - and I know they would hate to have to move as well - they have lived there since it was built in 1972.

For my whole life, my parents have been the one to take care of me, to tell me that everything would be all right. Now I guess it's the other way around, except that I know that's not true anymore - things will never be the same again, and they will probably get worse. I need to figure out how to balance my life - work, dating, things I enjoy - with spending time with them - I want to help them in any way that I can, and I feel that I owe it to them for all they have done for me. I also want to be able to spend as much time with my dad as I can while he's still around . But I'm in Maryland and they are in New Jersey - not a huge drive, but far enough that I can't just leave work early to go to a doctor's appointment or the like.

My mom seems to be taking it harder than my dad - which I guess is understandable. My dad has been living with the symptoms for a year, so at least he gets to finally know what is causing it and hopefully get some help. My mom pretty much has to take over all the household duties and take care of my dad, and she's not in the greatest shape herself- she has been told she needs both knees replaced but hasn't been able to do it.

I'll be up there in a few days - I get a few days off for July 4th, and I was going to go up there anyway. But it's going to be a tough visit, and I have a feeling that life for me and my family is going to get pretty tough. I'd appreciate if you keep my family in your thoughts/prayers.