The Winter of My Discontent...

I don't like this time of year. I don't know why, but fall always makes me feel like crap. I remember this time about two years ago at this time of year I felt really depressed and started wondering where my life was headed and if I was going in the right direction. It was actually the spring that followed that fall that I started focusing on watching my weight and some other goals, and I started feeling a lot better about myself and life.

I don't feel as bad as I did then, but I've been feeling kind of crappy of late - tired, sore, and just wanting the fall to skip the whole winter bullshit and turn to spring.

Usually February is the time when people feel the most depressed, but for me I think it's October/early November. In February there is hope - spring will be here soon and things will get brighter and happier, plus there is always the possibility of getting a day or two off from work for snow (at least for me - one of the perks of working for a college is we shut down when it snows). But November is the time between when your car starts skidding and you hit the car in front of you - you know it's going to hurt, but you can't do shit about it. You know winter is coming - that the days are dark and cold and will soon be darker and colder - and you can't do anything about them.

There is one bright spot in this mess - Thanksgiving. As a kid, I don't remember caring about Thanksgiving - it was two days off from school - nice, but not a real vacation like Christmas or Spring Break - with turkey and high school football (both my older brother and I were band nerds). Once I hit college, though, I started to appriciate it - it's good food and family, a break from the dreary gray of November. I always feel like I need a break around this time much more than around Easter. The post- thanksgiving Black Friday sales don't hurt, either.

I hate to be one of those people who lives in the future, but I'm really looking forward to Thanksgiving this year. Work has been grating on me of late, as has class. It's weird - the classes I'm taking this semester are pretty easy, but I find myself dreading them more than more difficult and work-intensive classes I've taken in the past. I don't know if it's my frame of mind or my teachers or the weather or the subjects (two management electives) or what. However, after this sememster I only have one class to take in the spring, and it should get over by mid-April - which will leave me more time to focus on other things I'd like to do, like get my house in shape, fix up my backyard, and maybe throw the housewarming party that my friends keep bugging me to have. And maybe get some more sleep and exersize in.

So I'm trying to slog through the next two months or so. I'm convinced that come Christmastime I'll be a happier person. I hope so.