Scenes from work, Saturday edition

(I work on Saturdays at a satellite campus that the college I work for operates. The facilities manager there has been picking my brain about buying a new computer. Favorite excerpts from today's conversations follow):

coworker: I just bought a computer.
Mad Anthony: What kind?
cw: a Gateway
MA: Ewww...

(I convince her that she could probably get a better deal on a Dell and that it's probably a better machine. She finds one on the site she likes and orders it. She then goes back to Compusa to return her Gateway)

CW: They refunded me $200 if I kept it. And they said it had a better warranty. The Dell only has a limited warranty
MA: But all warranties have some limits. What does the CompUSA warranty cover that Dell's doesn't?
CW: ummm... it's better
MA: but what specifically?
CW: I don't know. But their warranty is a "platinum" warranty
MA: You do realize that that is a made-up term?
CW: but the Gateway has a faster processor than the Dell.
MA: What processor does it have?
CW: I don't know.. but it's a 4
MA: Umm, they are both P4's. That's just a model number. Nobody makes a 4 gigahertz processor yet...
CW: but the salesman said it was faster..
MA: of course he did, it's his job
MA: Let me guess, you pay for undercoating and pinstripes when you buy cars, don't you?
CW: huh

cw: I think I'm going back to CompUSA and returning the Gateway
MA: be careful. At this rate you'll walk out with a plasma TV. Because, you know, the salesman said it was bigger..