Scenes from work, parasite edition...

Coworker: My girlfriend has worms.

Mad Anthony: You mean your girlfriend's cat has worms? Or does your girlfriend actually have worms?

Coworker: No, she does. She caught it from the cat.

Mad Anthony: Well, what you, she, and your cat do in your spare time is your own business.

(note I even passed up the chance to make a joke involving the word pussy.)