On being a Halloween Humbug, or why won't these damn costumed kids get off my lawn?

Yesterday, I celebrated Halloween by doing the same thing i do pretty much every night - going to the gym after work for a couple hours. By the time I ran a couple errands and got home, it was 8:30 or so, well after all but the hardiest of trick-or-treaters were gone. I then posted a comment on facebook mentioning that "I don't know why I should be expected to provide the neighborhood kids with candy, isn't enough I pay taxes to fund their schools?". This brought a bunch of comments, most comparing me to Scrooge and accusing me of ruining kid's lives, but a few of agreement.

When I shared my philosophy at lunch, including at one point equating being expected to give out candy to socialism, I was asked "do you really believe that or are you just saying it to get a rise out of people?" The answer to this question is, probably, both.

I'll admit that feeling obligated to hand out Snickers bars probably isn't the same as having to labor in a Soviet gulag. But I do think our society has an unreasonable that people should hand out candy on Halloween, and that those that don't are mean jerks. I think it's a nice gesture, but I don't think there is anything wrong with not doing it.

In previous years, I've thought "maybe I'll hand out candy", but I've always ended up not, and either bringing into work or putting it in a bowl on my porch, which always made me worry someone would steal the bowl (it's my cookie-dough-mixing bowl). This year I didn't even bother to pretend I was going to do it.

And, no, my trip to the gym wasn't an intentional means of avoiding candy-grubbing rugrats. I work out pretty much every day - i think I missed the gym 3 days in October, and one of those days I ran a half marathon. It's something that's important to me for a number of reasons, and I'm not going to give it up so that a bunch of kids can get an extra peanut butter cup.

To me, my neighbors are just people who happen occupy the physical space near mine, and home is just a place i eat, sleep, poop, and store my stuff. I rarely talk to my neighbors, so I don't really see any reason why I should be obligated to supply their kids with Skittles. Plus, being around happy couples with their adorable little poop factories just serves as a reminder that being one of those parents seems to be out of reach for me.

So chances are next Halloween my lights will remain off and my door will remain closed.