Reflections upon entering my 4th decade...

So last week, I turned 30. The big 3-0. I've never been a big fan of birthdays in general - it always just seems like a reminder that I'm another year closer to dieing and still not exactly where I had hoped to be. But 30 is even worst - I'm no longer a 20-something. I'm closer to middle age than I am to teenager.

In some ways, I'm probably better off than I thought I would be a few years ago. I'm in better shape physically than I've probably ever been, certainly considerably better shape than I was in my early 20's, when I was about 100 pounds heavier than I am now. I'm a homeowner, and I'm not upside down. I have a job that, while I wish I was further up the career ladder in, pays the bills, is steady, lets me do some cool stuff, and is generally a lot better than a lot of other jobs. I'm in pretty good financial shape.

But of course, there are also things I'm not as happy about. I'm single, and haven't had a whole lot of success changing that - and the older I get, the more unlikely it seems that I'll ever find someone, that I'll be able to do the things I want to do, the things that everyone else seems to be able to do - get married, have kids, ect. My parents are, like me, getting older, and having a bunch of health problems, and I'm sure they will only get worse and require more time and probably some difficult decisions in the coming decade.

So what does the next decade of madanthony's life hold? Probably surprises, hopefully of the good kind, but probably a mix of good and bad. Someone once said that "if you want to make God laugh, tell Him your plans for the next 10 years". While we may have an idea where the path of life will take us, it sometimes takes unexpected turns, and sometime something small makes a huge difference. It was an online survey that made me make the dramatic lifestyle changes that let me lose 100 pounds, and that have made the gym a place I spend a significant amount of my free time. It was a decision to look for a summer job so I could stay in Baltimore that eventually led to my current career. It was an off-the cuff remark, followed by a few minutes with a kitten who didn't want to do anything but fall asleep in my lap that brought Nibbler the cat into my life. So hopefully on the relationship front, something will surprise me and hopefully send me the way I want to go.

I'm not saying that there aren't things we can do, or even probably things I should be doing, to change the direction of my life to the way I want it to go. But I think sometimes life just happens, and maybe it will happen to me. Well, it will happen, and it's just finding out what "it" is.